John and James like to sit on a rock facing out to sea. It is early morning, post breakfast, blue skies, blue water with one single grey as grey cloud sitting right in the middle of everything blue.
John is sixty-five and missing a leg.
James is sixty-five and has both his legs.
John: Great day.
James: Great breakfast.
John: Wasn’t the usual tea, I think they have started using those cheap brand things.
James: Do you think?
John: I do.
James: Mine tasted the same.
John: Your taste buds not as cultivated as mine.
James: Right then Mr Cultivated; we need to get you over here.
John: Ah, if only!
James: If only what?
John: I hadn’t lost my leg!
James: And just where did you lose you leg?
John: Feck you?
James: Not you’re real one, … your artificial one?
John: That’s what I called him, affectionately.
John: I gave him a name affectionately.
James: Right, we still have to get to the rock.
John: Every day the rock.
James: You like that bloody rock.
John: I do, doesn’t mean I can’t get bored.
James: Bored, now that’s something.
John: What do you mean by that.
John: Are we going to the rock or not?
James: Well it would be easier if you hadn’t lost you leg, George!
John and James make their way to the rock and stand side by side.
James: Right so, get up there.
John: HEY, be careful.
James: I am.
John: Not enough.
James: Here, lift yourself up, stick your hand on my shoulder.
John: I’m no spring chicken you know.
James: I’m no feckin spring chicken either, (a bit more struggling) you up?
John: I am.
James: You comfortable?
John: Are you getting up or not?
James: I am.
John: I’m up and I have only one leg.
James: I know, I know, (mumbles) you and your feckin leg.
John: What’d you say?
James sits next to John.
John: What’s that? (John points to the single grey cloud in the blue sky)
James: I’d say that would be you.
John: A grey cloud in a blue sky?
James: Well if I’m the blue sky, you’d definitely be the grey cloud.
John: Hang on, it’s moving.
James: No it’s not.
John: I tell you it is.
James squints at the cloud, he may have two legs but he has bad eyesight.
James: Hey you’re right, what’s it doing?
John: How would I know?
Suddenly the cloud zooms at speed stopping just above John and James’ heads.
They look up. The cloud rains heavily on top of them both.
James: Oh that’s just fucking great, you and your ‘let’s go to the beach’.
John: You like the beach, and this rock!
James: No I don’t.
John: You do.
James: I don’t.
John: Then why do we come here every day?
The cloud rains even heavier.
John: Right I’m going.
John: Get me off this rock.
James: Shouldn’t have lost your leg.
John: Fuck you.
James: Well, fuck you too.
Cloud: For fucks sake would you two ever shut up? Just shut up.
The cloud rains persistently.